My Grand Final..

My team lost the Grand Final tonight..
In the end, i'm so dissapointed of my performance in Mix-Double.. although im playing well in the other categories..

My leng lui partner, Kelsey, told me that we must beat them by 21-2.. so ambitious, haha..
but in fact, we need more points to close our gap with our opponent..
We got a 5-0 good start, but after that i got couples of "push" went out..
then, both of us started to play abit unbalance.. on the half way of the game, my racquet flew away as im trying to save the crucial ball.. Kelsey asked : am i okie? the situation is funny that time, haha.. but still we lost the match, and also our champion flag.. so sad and dissapointing..haiz..

It's really unacceptable for me.. because i want to be the champion.. sad.. sad..
But the feeling is still nice when i think back of i heard Kelsey shouted "come on tan~" when im playing my men doubles.. so syok.. because at least she remember my name.. haha.. Thought of taking photos with the players who partner with me and put it as profile pic in facebook to show off.. lol, but we lost, so i think it's not a right time though.. wasted.. haha..

But that's the end of my first division roster.. its interesting division than 2nd division.. as i can get to improve my match playing with those good ang mo players there. Hopefully that i get to play in 1st division again for the next summer roster.. i believe i will be even more stable and better that time, as i've used to their playing pace..

Still feel sorry for my team mates for the losing..and the dissapointment of myself..
hope that most of us will be in the same team again next roster.. they are nice mates..

离别

今晚回到房间时， 听到了一首朋友部落格里的歌
那种感觉又来了...

明早杰明与sherlyn就要回国了
虽然我和他们俩也只认识了那短短几个月
可是感觉都是愉快
很可惜， 时间就是过得这么快...
看着他们都在忙着拍照时 知己也顿时进入了另一个空间
就是我的五度空间

这次是离别的空间
感觉到我们曾经的那份快乐， 到最后你还是选择离别
我的，我想要的快乐为何结局总是都会是离别我身边
每一次好不容易才敢努力拿起勇气寻找的快乐， 也只能以知己离别收场
可是我也明了， 我只能在旁独自欣赏， 也惯了， 只好能把勇气收给知己
只要你觉得开心， 我就开心了...

突然间被jason叫醒了，过不久就回家了...


离别的时候， 总是会让我们回顾， 那些曾经留下深刻印象的感觉
当伸手想抱紧时， 才发现， 原来已融化在空气中， 变成回忆了..

希望神都会在杰明和sherlyn身旁保佑他们
希望他们会珍惜他们所创造的回忆

再会了..

So called "My Friday" again..

It is a Friday again. I think i'll only feel like starting to post blog on this day. Why? Until now i still got no idea why.. LOL !

Woke up about 12 pm today, skipped my breakfast again..
Talk about breakfast.. remind me about "her"

And it reminds me when only i gonna to give her my own make "bacon + sausage + egg breakfast". actually, she didnt asked me to make it, but i just feel like wanted to make it for her.
Why? There's a short story about that..

The first time i saw her, was in my house, while i'm watering plants..
And my first sight on her is.. maybe i should say nice? or others? i don't know.. but it's a good first sight !

And we're just hi-bye friend, so we dont talk much actually. But since my sem break started, im was like will think that what she's doing now? will she be coming to our house tonight? it's weird.. haha ! We had some rumours too, but it was just a rumours that we both also don't know why it will pop-up suddenly, it's still weird.. haha.

Everything is just very ordinary and a little bit weird between us.. haha. But i would like to know more about her if there's a chance in a right time to do so. In fact, that's what i'm trying to do now, lol..

Hopefully my breakfast will not shock her too much.. haha.
and hope that she will recover from her cough asap..

A hope..

It's a friday night again.. why my every friday seems so heavy feeling to me.. i'm also not sure whether they are sadness or happiness.

But it was a mixture of both.. sometimes i feel like going wild on friday night, sometimes i feel like being into the other way.. but in the end, i'll be thinking why i will do so just now ? why i will feel that way just now ? what is the main reason that make me feel to do so just now.. ? and i can't find the answer, then ended up music accompany me to get rid of it.. there's just something i've been missing.. maybe someone..? i really got no idea about that..

i've been a quiet person since i step into my new life in tasmania.. but sometimes, i really wish if there's a person that i can talk and share to.. i've really tried and tried many times to approach to anyone that i can talk and share to.. although there's many people that i've gone through.. but in the end, i realize that she's still the last person i mean..

and it seems to be a long time since that night.. even through few years, whenever i'm up or down, she'll be the last person that come to me.. and it's unbelievable that my belief on her till now is still so strong.. although it's an illusion.. but the feeling is just so nice.. and happy.. but i know the only thing i can do now, is to try every single day in my life.. and i really hope that some day.. some day.. everything will come to me..

The Easter Break

The first day of my Easter break..

Thought of waking up on 830am to wash my clothes earlier, but ended up woke up two hours later, haha. Thought today will gonna be a cold and windy day again, but luckily the mighty sun appears ! I think thats the first time all my clothes can be dry in one day, because it's rare to get this kind of hot sun. So,ended up the balcony full of clothes hanging around, and it actually looked likes a clothes market, haha

It's 3pm, while i'm thinking of a new meal to cook for tonight's dinner, i saw chun hoe playing Big 2 all by himself ! i guessed he must be too boring playing DOTA all the time, so i asked him, then he said that playing in this way can train our mind.. then i was like huh?? it was funny when you saw him playing all by himself, hahaha.

It's 7pm. My plan for the 1st day of easter break's dinner is.... maybe i should name it as " satay belacan rice "hahaha. The ingredients are : belacan soup, two fried eggs with curry powder, slices of chicken ham together with ikan bilis cooked with satay paste ! It took about 30 minutes for me to finish everything.. The belacan soup's taste was weird.. but part of it taste liked prawn mee soup.. so im thinking maybe next time i should put some dry prawn.. but the belacan soup's taste really weird, ahahah. But i like the satay paste ikan bilis with chicken ham.. although taste abit salty.. but it was a improved one ! hahaa.

From the first day of cooking till now, i found out that actually cooking is interesting, and my skill is improving everytime i try to cook new meal, haha. Now, i can add one more ability into my profile, "a guy that got cooking skill" ! hehe..

Now, the first day of easter gonna ends.. i feel that time passes very fast here.. everyday, especially at night,after everything has done.. i'll still feel that there's something missing in my days... i think it must be the alone thingy again.. if there's a person that i can share and talk to.. maybe i'll not feel that way.. but i know the only thing i can do is to try everyday in my life..

Final Year Project

Two more days,im gonna to face the very last of my final year project- poster presentation which i've dreamed and ambitious to make it very good one before this last semester started. But, it was not a good one at all, it's totally a rubbish project work. I keep on asking myself,why i will choose such title, why.. and now im really still in trouble and stuck half way in my project,while the everyone of all the other project students have their actual design after the final report..i dare to say that i'm the only one that really dont' have a actual design yet. This title is really hard,tough,complicated,calculation also never learn before,requires degree study also,and im just a diploma student,how i wish if someone can understand what i'm handling now. Beside to handle all this project stuff, and not to forget that im an emo-guy who needs someone to support me by my side, but.. my world is not as simple and ordinary as you all think.. everyone is doing well,but not me. I'm not doing well and not deserved well on everything where i supposed to be..is hard to explain..is really hard..and now each of them has their own life..left me alone to face the unmeaningful days of my own world.. but i will still try my best to find a solution for my project..while my world beside project, i think i can only describe through this lyrics by nan quan mama.

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨滴 期待让人越来越沉溺
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累
怎样的雨 怎样的夜 怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴 其实
没有我你分不清那些 差别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过 别说你想改变 被爱的人不用道歉

看著你一整个晚上 为了他的细心的打扮
还常常问我 穿哪件衣服 可以比较挑他的喜欢
我只是你诉苦的对象 哭累之后可休息的地方
我在你心里 到底是有没有 一点重量 泪融化了妆
是他给的伤 我却只能在一旁 忍不住的看 好朋友模样
用来隐藏对你的情感 连大声爱我都不敢讲 泪融化了妆
是他给的伤 连常常放手都不管 谁叫我爱上 只是回头望
你那一张连一丝笑容 也都不属於我的脸庞 真的很伤
他一句抱歉你就原谅 在电话里笑的很灿烂
你连句谢谢也没有对我讲
转身就忘

Fridays..

Friday..is not normal..but it lives with fun..revolution..insane..desperately..abnormal..yet..it means alot..alot..

This is a song where it could describe the Friday i meant..

My inside all turn to ash so slow under the way inside it's collapse,so cold..
a black winter built away from side another darkness of the day that night..
and the clouds above move closer looking so dissatisfied..
but the heartless wind kept blowing blowing i used to be my own protection but not now..
cause my path had lost direction somehow black winter kill away from side..
and the ground lift look colder as they put you down inside..
so now you're gone and i was wrong i never knew what it was mine..
to be alone..